Bullying of Junior Doctors is on the Rise

on

AMA (NSW) released its 2021 Hospital Health Check survey today. After the last few years of dealing with bushfires, floods and COVID-19, it’s not surprising that the survey showed junior doctors are exhausted. So exhausted, in fact, that almost half of the respondents were concerned for their personal safety due to fatigue associated with long hours.

In unsurprising results, female doctors have fared worse than male doctors. Female doctors have claimed appreciably less overtime and have also experienced significantly more discrimination and bullying.

I write about the issues facing female doctors in my whitepaper, “Negotiation Skills as a Remedy for Gender Bias in Medicine”. I argue that learning consensus-building negotiation skills could equip female doctors to receive more acknowledgement in the workplace, to negotiate better salaries and working conditions and neutralise the impact of bullying and hostility.

Send me a message if you are interested in receiving a copy of my whitepaper and do get in touch if you are interested in learning more about my training and coaching programs in Sustainable Negotiation.

 

Stress versus Pressure

on

 

Photo Credit: smh.com.au

Like many Australians, I made sure I was in front the TV to watch Jess Fox’s gold medal performance last week in the C-1 Canoe Slalom at the Tokyo Olympics.

Jess is from a canoe and kayak paddling family – her parents are both Olympians in the sport, her mother is her coach, her father, Richard, was previously Australia’s Head Coach and is a Channel 7 commentator in these Olympics Games.

It was an absolute joy to hear Richard commentate on his daughter’s canoe race. His emotion was a rollercoaster ride that I shared.

After the race, Richard was talking about Jess’s preparation. He said that she had been under a lot of pressure but hadn’t let herself become stressed.

As a negotiator, this comment really stood out for me. In negotiations, just like in the Olympics, there’s nothing wrong with pressure but there is something wrong with stress.

According to HBR (Nicholas Petrie, 16/03/2017), pressure is not stress, but “the former is converted to the latter when you add one ingredient: rumination, the tendency to keep rethinking past or future events, while attaching negative emotion to those thoughts”.

It can be too easy to dwell on past negotiations or confrontations that have ended poorly. While it’s okay to feel under pressure to perform well, taking stress into a negotiation means you aren’t listening well to the other party, you are closed off to creative solutions, and you are too focussed on how you might be perceived.

Before a negotiation it’s important to prime yourself. Put things in perspective, think about past successes, let go of past failures and learn to control your reaction to pressure.

These steps will prepare you better for negotiation and, if you ever get the chance, Olympic Gold.

https://www.smh.com.au/sport/i-ve-thrown-up-but-it-s-fine-fox-s-nervous-battle-before-gold-run-20210729-p58e7s.html

Weak Petal or Bully Bi$ch

on

Photo credit: abc.net.au

Did you see Laura Tingle’s gripping interview with Julia Banks on ABC’s 7:30 last night, 5th July?

In the interview, Banks shares some of her experiences as a former federal MP and gives vivid descriptions of the toxic workplace culture, unconscious bias and systemic misogyny in Federal Parliament.

For me, the interview was both alarming and foreseeable – alarming, because the behaviours described and the viscous narratives employed to undermine Ms Banks are distressing; and foreseeable because I’ve seen and heard it all before.

Banks describes being backgrounded to the media with the full spectrum of sexist stereotypes, from weak petal through to a bully bi$ch.

In my negotiation coaching work with women, I hear these stories all the time. Stereotypes about women are weaponised to silence their voices: men are ambitious but women are greedy; men succeed on merit, women due to quotas, angry men are principled while angry women are irrational.

And I hear these stories from incredible, brilliant, successful women: from doctors, lawyers, fund managers and barristers.

I am doing more research on how deeply held stereotypes make it difficult for women to negotiate for themselves and I’d love to hear your experiences of this.

If you want to see the interview, you can see it here http://If not, you can see it here https://www.abc.net.au/7.30/liberal-mp-julia-banks-speaks-on-the-toxic-culture/13432590

It’s that time of year

on

It strikes me that some of our most fraught negotiations are not in the boardroom or during a mediation, but with family and friends in the lead-up to the holiday season.

Some of these holiday season negotiations rival the biggest corporate deals for complexity, number of parties, a protracted history of dealings and ever-changing power dynamics.

Simply planning a family get-together at Christmas time involves a negotiation about whose place it will be at, who is bringing what, who is driving home and what gifts to buy. There will planning needed for how to avoid the clash of personalities that arose last year and where to seat “that uncle” that everyone seems to have.

Here are my top three tips for negotiating the holiday season:

  1. Anchoring. In negotiation, the anchoring bias is the tendency to rely too much on the first piece of data. For holiday plans, anchor your desired outcome by being the first to suggest the plans. It is harder for others to adjust from the starting point and suggest alternatives if you’ve already named an offer.
    A polite “We’d like to have everyone over to our place this year” saves you the dreaded annual trek.
  2. Scenario Planning. If you suspect you will receive the same boring present or you’ll have guests offer to cook the same dated recipe, plan ahead for this. Work out how you’ll react in these circumstances. Good negotiators plan responses for a myriad scenarios. Try “I have always appreciated the effort you put into the Ham and Banana Hollandaise and this Christmas I’d love to honour you with a year off”.
  3. Pick your battles. There are times in a negotiation when offering a trade-off is the wrong approach. Christmas time with your family is probably the wrong time to hold out for a concession. I’m not suggesting you lie, but keeping the importance of the relationships top of mind is the proper thing to do. Instead of “why do we have to go your family’s house every year?”, try “I’ll happily tag along because I know it is important to you”.

I hope these tips help. Get in touch if I can help with any of your negotiations.

Fiona

 

 

Talking about female doctors

on

I recorded this podcast recently with Todd Fraser of Osler Technology. We are talking about how consensus-building negotiation skills can equip female doctors to receive more acknowledgement in the workplace, to negotiate better salaries and working conditions and neutralise the impact of bullying and hostility.

Take a listen … it’s only 15 minutes.

CLICK HERE: https://omny.fm/shows/essential-critical-care/fiona-mckenzie-negotiation-skills-for-female-docto?in_playlist=essential-critical-care!podcast-1#sharing

 

 

 

Grammar and Negotiation

on

We should settle

We could settle

We might settle

What are the different meanings here?

Did you know that grammar influences negotiation?

Words like should, could and might are called modal verbs. They modify the main verb in the sentence to make it weaker or to indicate likelihood. In the case above, they modify the verb settle.

Apart from modal verbs, there are other words that express modality. Words like think, suppose, unfortunately and probably. Look at these examples:

I think we can …

I suppose we can …

Unfortunately we can’t …

We probably won’t …

Why do we care about modality in negotiation? Because it changes the emotional tone of the negotiation.

If you want to deliver bad news without being abrupt, use modality: Instead of I am not doing that, use I am probably not able to do that.

If you want to ask the other party for a concession without committing to giving one, use modality: Instead of I will give you X if you give me Y, try If you give me Y I might be able to give you X

If you want to be crystal clear about an outcome or a condition, be sure not to use modality: Instead of I don’t think I could do that, use That is not possible.

And finally, one of my favourite tips, if you want to get something on the table without committing to it, use questions with modality, for instance: Should we consider… or Wouldn’t it be better to …

Language matters in negotiation. You may intuitively use these grammar techniques but it’s helpful to understand their power.

 

 

Anzac Parade

on

I was in Canberra last week delivering negotiation training for a federal government department.

I have always loved Canberra. As a child, I loved trying to guess which country’s embassy we were passing, and I was enthralled with the carillon. These days, it’s the design that draws me in. The grandeur and prominence of the key buildings, the roads and thoroughfares in geometric shapes and the elegance of the lake.

Last week was a work trip, so I was mostly just traipsing between the hotel and the client’s offices. However, each taxi trip landed me briefly on Anzac Parade, that glorious boulevard running from the War Memorial to the lake and looking directly across at the old and new parliament houses.

Anzac Parade is quite something. Visually, it is very commanding with the red gravel made from crushed Canberra bricks, and the rows of memorials flanked by towering trees.

I can’t help feeling that Anzac Parade is designed to prepare us for the sombre ceremonies held there. It’s priming us for solemnity and reverence.

Preparing for a negotiation is no different. Research shows that anxiety leads to poorer outcomes in a negotiation; to manage this, many people have rituals to ready themselves … wearing a much-loved shirt, eating a favourite breakfast, playing an inspiring soundtrack.

It’s important to build your very own rituals for the lead-up to a negotiation. It builds the connection in your brain to memories of prior negotiations and prepares you for what is to come.

What are your pre-negotiation traditions?

 

 

A Muscle Worth Exercising

on

My son is at uni studying medical science. Since March, all of his lectures have been online due to COVID. He likes to move around the house a bit but occasionally we share a desk in my home office.

This term he is learning about processes of disease and I am constantly catching glimpses of things like gangrenous feet, black lungs and necrotising flesh.

I find the images mostly interesting and occasionally disgusting. He finds them intriguing, although I’ve spotted a crinkled nose from time to time.

It strikes me that seeing all these graphic photos (and, prior to COVID, working with cadavers in the lab) will stand him in good stead when he treats real life humans at some stage in the future. He is being desensitised to the things we non-medical types find a bit yucky.

For people learning to negotiate, especially women, desensitising is also necessary. We must get used to asking for things. We must get used to hearing no. We must start saying no and sticking up for ourselves.

It’s a different sort of desensitising to my son’s experience of looking at medical images, but negotiation is definitely a muscle worth exercising.

If you’d like to find out more about the group training and individual coaching programs I offer, do get in touch.

Which Negotiator are You?

on

My favourite TV show EVER is the West Wing.

I hope you’ve heard of it. It was an award-winning show set in the West Wing of the White House and was noted for its intelligent scripts and “walk and talk” scenes as the actors moved through lengthy hallways.

After seven award-winning seasons, the West Wing ceased production in 2006. However, it has attracted attention again recently with various cast reunions designed to encourage voter participation in the upcoming US elections.

So, in honour of my favourite TV show, here’s my question for the week … which West Wing negotiator are you:

  • Josh Lyman – an outspoken, cocky, slightly aggressive negotiator, loved by colleagues but not trusted by adversaries?
  • Jed Bartlett – a philosophical and scholarly negotiator who uses charm, smarts and humour to disarm the other party?
  • Sam Seaborn – let’s face it, a negotiator so dang good-looking opponents are constantly distracted and just give in?
  • CJ Cregg – a strong, sassy negotiator with a high level of emotional intelligence who is a master at reading people’s moods and winning them over with quick-witted responses?
  • Toby Ziegler – a brooding and misunderstood negotiator with an acid tongue, a heart of gold and a willingness to go to the wall for his principles?
  • Leo McGarry – a quiet, compassionate yet fiercely loyal and influential negotiator who pushes others to take the limelight?

Who are you most like? I’d love to hear.

 

 

Djokovic and Blame Shifting

on

Photo credit: abc.net.au

 

One of the biggest news stories this week is about Novak Djokovic being expelled from the US Open after smacking a tennis ball into the throat of a lineswoman.

In discussions with the match officials afterwards, Djokovic kept insisting she was fine because she didn’t have to go to hospital. He was even heard to say: “If she would have gotten up right away …”.

While not explicit, the subtext of his comments is that HE would not have been disqualified if SHE had reacted in a different manner.

I don’t want to join any pile-on of Djokovic but this is a classic example of blame shifting. Yes, he didn’t intend to do it. Yes, he is sorry that she was hurt. But no, her reaction did not cause him to be disqualified; his own actions did.

It’s obvious Djokovic was negotiating with match officials to stay on the court. “It’s my career, my grand slam, centre stage”, he said. The match rules are clear so he probably had little chance of reversing the decision, but at the very least he needed to take responsibility and apologise for his actions, not blame the injured woman.

Blame shifting has no place in a negotiation. All it does is lead you away from a potential resolution. Don’t let your desire to be blameless lead to a failed negotiation. A bruised ego is a small price to pay for a big win.

 

If you are interested, you can watch some of the action here: Novak Djokovic disqualified from US Open