The giggle-vomit test

on

 

It may not seem like it, but you are negotiating every day.

Every time you try to influence someone to give you something or do something for you, you are negotiating.

Sometimes our negotiations are big ones – promotions, pay rises, supplier negotiations. Sometimes they are small – who is picking up the kids or getting the coffee.

It’s obvious that being a better negotiator will help with those big, life changing negotiations. New jobs, partners, promotions, homes – the outcomes of these negotiations have a profound impact on our lives.

But are the small negotiations that important?

I would argue that they absolutely are. And here’s why … when we get used to asking for small, low stakes things, we are so much better at asking for the big things.

A client of mine is highly successful in her chosen profession and has a unique and sort-after skill set. Even though she is extremely capable and well regarded in her industry, she was paralysed when it came to negotiating a promotion she knew she deserved.

Over several months I challenged her to engage in larger and larger negotiations. She learnt to ask without getting agitated, she learnt to identify her stress triggers and she progressively gained the confidence to tackle the big negotiation she was facing.

This is the giggle-vomit test. (American academic, Linda Babcock, calls this the giggle test, but I think giggle-vomit is much more evocative!)

Here’s how it works:

  1. Pick several small things that aren’t important to you, like a free sample of icecream, an upgrade in a hotel, a free half hour on the tennis court.
  2. Work out what seems like an ambitious request … and then double it!
  3. Ask for this doubled request and try not to giggle, blush or get queasy.
  4. Afterwards, try to pinpoint any triggers that caused a physiological reaction.
  5. Keep practising until you can comfortably ask for outrageous things without a giggle-vomit response.

We all want to be great negotiators when we are in the big arena, in the big moments that change our lives, but success there starts with practice in the small negotiations.

Don’t get left behind. Build your negotiating skills one day (or one icecream sample) at a time.

____

If improving your negotiation skills is something you’ve been thinking about, I currently have three slots available for one-on-one coaching. If you book before 30 June, an EOFY discount will apply.